Sunday, October 12, 2008

Down to a month...


First I must say I have no idea what I am doing creating a blog... I have recently been thrown on a new journey for me and I wanted some way to remember my feelings, my thought and I am very much hoping that others in my position can read what I have written and feel that someone else out there understands. I remember when I found out that Hubby would be deployed I ordered about 7 books off of the Internet. I wanted to feel less alone, I wanted to read what others have been through. Really, I was trying to find comfort in any way that I could. I was looking for encouragement in the form of written words from others who have walked down this road.

We found out a few weeks ago that my Hubby is being deployed to Afghanistan on January 9th. It felt as though my world was turned over. Hubby is due to leave for training on November 8th, will be gone until December 23rd when he gets to come home until January 3rd (we think) and they will deploy. He will be gone for about one year....

God and I have always been friends. I very often talk to him when I am having a bad day. There have been many conversations that I have had with God since hearing of Hubby leaving and most consist of WHY?? I have been through so much in my life, WHY? I then take a step back. My son is healthy, my family is full of love and always supportive, though I have health problems, I am fully able to do anything that I need to get done. How dare I question God's plans for my family. How dare I ask God to make my life change because I don't agree with something going on right now. I have very strong faith and I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I can say this now, as I feel very strong and like everything is going okay. But, on those days when I fight back tears all day at work, and the second I hop in my car I can't stop crying it is not so easy to be trusting God with everything.

I am documenting my journey as a wife as a solider. It will be in less than one month that I will be separated from my husband for what will most likely be the longest year of my life. I welcome you to come along on this journey with me. I am writing for you, who ever comes across my blog and for me. I want to be able to look back at all of this is many years and see the good and bad of being separated from Hubby. I want to see how I have changed as a person. I want to be able to know at what point I felt as though I could not take it any more. And, I want to be able to offer Hubby, if he ever so decided, to read my inner thought and feelings while being separated.

I am now living my life according to numbers... How many weekend nights till Hubby leaves? How many days off until Hubby is gone? The big question that I don't dare to ask because the number is too great, How many days until this Hell is over and Hubby is back home? See, it's funny. You think that when someone says they are being deployed for a year and think it's really A YEAR. Truth be told, there are many other things involved in that year deployment. Training for months before the unit is deployed. The deployment, a month away from home after the deployment. So, all in all, it isn't 52 weeks that I am giving my Hubby up for his government sponsored vacation. It is much longer. And when you are counting days.... Every single one counts!

1 comment:

Chanielce Chacon said...

Hello there. I'm just blog hopping so I hope you don't mind me looking around.
I admire your strength and I highly esteem your husband's work in keeping the world a safer place. Its not easy being a soldier especially if they will be thrown to a war hotspot where most of the things happen.With this, I will pray for the American troops' safety.
Probably this is God's way of strengthening you as well as your husband. He is giving you this adverse circumstances because he knows what stuff both you and your husband are made of.
Anyway, more power and blog on!!!