Sunday, January 18, 2009

Day 70

Well, it has been a long while since I have written here. These past few weeks and months have been filled with every emotion I can think of. I have been Hubby twice, had surgery once and spend countless hours in bed not knowing how to get through these hard time. If I remember correct, the first time Hubby left the first 3 weeks were just brutal, and then it got to be okay. I am not sure if that is because it took that long for me to adjust to this new life or if I was so close to seeing Hubby for Christmas that I had something wonderful to look forward too.

Well, it has been one week today since I have seen Hubby. He was in town for my surgery. It was just wonderful to have him by my side, to have my best friend back with me, to not sleep alone. Hubby leaves in three days for Afg. The past three days have been terrible. I have either spend the days in bed crying to fighting off the tears with my everything. I so much look forward to the moments that I get to talk to Hubby on the phone, I know that very soon our phone talks will come to an end. Hubby thinks that he will get his R&R in July and we are planning to meet in Florida. I am holding on to that with dear life.
I was talking to a good friend yesterday and told her how for a little while I felt so wonderful, I got a gallon on milk and the exp. date was 2/1. To me that meant, I had made it through January with out Hubby and I was that much closer to having him back home with us.
Ahhh.. I had no idea how hard this would be. And, at the same time I feel terrible even thinking that I have any right to be sad/mad. I have everything that I need in my life. Our son is healthy, Hubby will be back, I am married to my lover and best friend, I have a wonderful and supportive family. I have been so blessed by God that I so not have any right to be upset. But then the next hour hits and I just can't stand the loneliness any more.

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